Posted: July 20, 2014 by cracker666 in Uncategorized

The Part-Time Mayor goes off on a non-tangential tangent yet again:

During my term in office Invercargill has used brands such as “The Friendly City”, “We’ve Got What It Takes”, “The Spirit of a Nation”, and the “Child Youth and Family Friendly City”. They were all positive brands but none of them made it to the top three when Venture Southland conducted perception surveys on brands and images associated with the south. It was always the Bluff oyster, Zero Fees and myself that dominated these surveys. None the less (sic), we should always be on the lookout for new brands or inspirational slogans that will help promote the region.

No, I think what that tells you is that way too much money (incidentally, none of it belonging to the PTM’s own pocket) has been spent on stupid, illogic attempts at branding.  I note he missed out “Where Dreams Are Possible and Nightmares Guaranteed“.

There was an advertising feature in the Sunday Star-Times today that outlined Invercargill’s benefits, which were, in part:

  • No traffic jams
  • Affordable quality housing
  • Gateway to the southern lakes.

Nothing about being child friendly, nation spirited, or having what it takes (whatever the hell that means).  Just solid benefits that people can relate to.

Anyway, the PTM moves on to the Stadium, saying:

…we have a brand new stadium that is probably the strongest facility of its kind in the world. Surely it’s time to move on and enjoy what we have achieved. It’s now almost debt free…

Balls it is.  It owes Holdco $7 million (which will never be paid back) and has a growing debt of about $3.5 million with no way of servicing it.

That’s 24% of the total cost.  How is that “almost debt free”?



Regional Guides

Posted: July 10, 2014 by cracker666 in Uncategorized

Had to laugh.  This is the front cover of Local Government NZ’s Guide to Local Government:

cof1This is the Invercargill version of the same publication:

cof2How apt.


On The Buses

Posted: July 10, 2014 by cracker666 in Uncategorized

A new bus service to ferry the 336 Invercargill residents who said they want to spend more time in Esk St starts today.

The buses, which will pick the 336 people up from their homes and drop them back once they’ve finished sitting in the pocket park, will be paid for from a special rate on all residents.

“The cost of $750,000 per annum is a small price to pay to create a vibrant inner city,” a Council spokesthing said.  “To get these 336 people in Esk Street will be a boon for the three retail outlets, two hairdressers, and kebab shop left there after H&Js completed their mall complex further up the street.”

Leeroy, who said he would spend more time in Esk St during the faux consultation, was looking forward to the free bus service and sitting in the pocket park.

“I just dunno how all 336 of us are gonna fit on the pocket park at once.  Maybe there’ll be shifts.”

Council staff expected a drop off in bus use over the summer holidays, as 86 percent of the 86 percent who said they would spend more time in Esk St were friends of the students press-ganging people in to fill out survey forms and would not be here over the summer.


Posted: July 9, 2014 by cracker666 in Uncategorized

From the “I Don’t Spend A Lot Of Time Focusing On Geopolitical Reality” files, comes this:


Ah yes, that old Maori ancestry paper:


Building a relationship with China by talking about Taiwan is, despite the recent visit by a high-ranking Chinese official to Taipei, an own goal and yet again illustrates why local government politicians should not travel offshore unless it is to retire.

The Part Time Mayor really is the gift that keeps on giving.  Or taking.


…old Councillor Arnold deserves a bit of kudos for this unreported beauty during the Kremlin meeting held on June 17:


Hear hear.  How many years have we been asking for a full review of Kremlin operations?

She could also pick up a bit of extra cash proof-reading the agendas and minutes, because, despite having a grossly overstaffed comms department, the Kremlin doesn’t appear to have the capability to do it themselves….unless of course no one there knows who Lindsay Hazley is….


I wondered what it would look like if you merged the latest P&L of the Southland Outdoor Stadium Trust and Rugby Southland.

Here it is:

hmmmmTake out non-cash items (well, item), remove the “canteen costs” (they don’t need to run a canteen, especially if they can’t run it at a profit) and you see that, combined, the combined entity would have a cash surplus of $167,383.

I’ll merge the balance sheets soon, but why did no-one shilling for Rugby Park to be taken over by the Kremlin mention this?  Why didn’t the fish n chipper do it?

Open for discussion…..

NB I left out the Stadium trust’s admin costs as these will be wrapped up in Rugby Southland (as they are at the moment in another smoke and mirrors transaction)

UPDATE:  Here’s a standard combined balance sheet for the newly created entity.  More questions?

bsrssotThe balance sheet doesn’t include the $1,149,833 Rugby Southland has in reserves.


The Part-Time Mayor outlined the ‘economic’ benefits of the $20,000+ junket visit to Suqian in the fish n chipper today.

Apparently, this is what he’s coming back with:

  • “A joint venture film exploring the historical relationship between China and New Zealand but using the genre of a romance.”  Hang on a minute, is film-making a core Council activity? And Exhibit 1 and Exhibit 2 show how much trouble the film industry has got him into in the past.
  • “…a Southland rugby coach to help train Suqian’s women’s rugby team.” So they don’t rate our coaches highly enough to coach their men’s team?  And once again, how is finding coaches for some second-rate rugby nation a core Council activity?
  • “…develop a Chinese garden in Queens Park…” This who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it.  And there’s just one other thing, noted on the Kremlin’s own website: “Queens Park has a Japanese Garden which includes a cherry tree donated by the Kumagaya International Friendship Society.”  So either we’re ditching Kumagaya, or the Junketeers have ignored the ongoing conflict between the two neighbours.  I’m sure Kumagaya will be stoked to be sharing space with a Chinese garden, prefabricated in Suqian and shipped out here to be re-assembled by coolie labour.

I think the Part-Time Mayor’s ideas above should be enough for other Councillors to finally put the kibosh on overseas trips and turn that money back to the ratepayers or give those businesses building markets a shot at the trip instead.

What an enormous waste of time and money.